Today I did something I never thought I would. Earlier today, I was told by my sister that I was behaving rudely since past few days, which was the truth I was and how I reacted after that was clearly not acceptable. Guess what, my reactions were like that of crazy chap, throwing things here and there over which my mother came up to me and told me that I was going mad and I seriously started crying and shedding tears for no reason. Ahh!!! Quite heavy and a disturbing day indeed.
These reactions of mine which I later began to think over were nothing but just an outcome of being a captive inside my home for almost a year now. Just a year?? No, no, no, it has been about half of my life that I have to stayed home, missed my school, left my studies. It just used to seem like a part of life now to have been away from every single daily activity for 3 to 4 months every two years but this year, it is pretty much different.
Ten long months and counting, I had to stay home out of which three months were without any communication and seven months without any internet and now the rest we spend is with 2G. How happy or even okay should I be? I never thought a lockdown which I being a Kashmiri am so familiar with would affect me so much that I would literally start to cry.
A few points to be highlighted that have led me like any other Kashmiri student to get mad and behave so abnormal:
1. After the abrogation of Article 370, education sector was the most hit as we, the Kashmiri students had no access to internet which resulted us not being able to even self study. I had to begin with my first semester classes of Btech from the 15th of August 2019 that were postponed to 14th of February 2020. I lost six precious months of my degree which is indeed miserable.
2. A child while not studying would in place want to go out with his parents or play with his friends outside or do any outdoor activity but this privilege was never meant for Kashmiri kids due to fear of being hit by pellets or bullets if they step out.
3. Once the Curbs started to get lifted and public transport could be seen on road, moving, shops starting to reopen, schools and colleges starting to function again in the month of February, it felt like life had been injected back in Kashmir, everything seemed so full of life again when this Pandemic hit us out of nowhere. This natural catastrophe just sucked the bit of joy back from this land and its people. Everything came to halt. All of us started to go through the same phase once again just after a month of normalcy.
4. This lockdown is referred to as a better one somehow as we at least have access to communication though what we lack is the normalcy in real senses. We indeed are studying through the online mode but that is hardly helpful as it is conducted on the 2g speed of internet.
We are struggling more than any student out there. In truth, we have been robbed of our mental peace. What can a person do when he is deprived of even the basic rights ? What for are we being slapped with this speed of internet when there is no ban on any social networking site? We are being held captive without even being given a reason to live for. We are so tired of it now. We have always been treated unfair. This time when everyone is in fear of this virus, day by day going into depression, we are being over traumatized. We are being told to appear in examinations after just attending 1 month of our educational institutions. We are being told to study online with this dreadful speed of internet. Every second day, there is a communication lockdown in every other district. With all this pressure, it is impossible for a student to be at peace and consider his education above all when this is the last priority for everyone else.
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